But you dont look gay
A swift shameless self promotion before we begin. I wrote a novel titled “But You Don’t Look Gay…” which is available on Amazon. I also wrote a follow up book “No Wait, You Do Look Gay…” You can find both of them on Amazon here.
Coming out at work can be tough. In January 2013 when Jodie Foster chose to come out publicly (at the Golden Globes while accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement), she proved just how tough it can be. There are many takeaways from her coming out in business. You can study my blog post about it here.
When someone gets the nerve to finally arrive out to you at work the last thing they want to catch is “but you don’t look gay.” This is a terrible reaction you should rethink, if you are guilty of saying it. When you utter this you are implying that in order to be gay you must fall into one of
Former President Donald Trump told a gay supporter that they did not "look gay" during a Wednesday fundraiser at his Mar-a-Lago club in Florida.
Trump held the fundraiser for Michigan Republican congressional candidate John Gibbs, who is contradictory freshmen GOP Representative Peter Meijer. Gibbs served in the Trump administration as an official at the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Meijer drew Trump's ire after he joined nine other Residence Republicans in voting to impeach the then-president in January 2021 for inciting his supporters to strike the U.S. Capitol.
During remarks at the event, the former president asked the crowd gathered for the fundraiser, "Where's gays for Trump?"
A video of the interaction was shared on Twitter by Patriot Takes and has more than 69,000 views.
Someone in the audience responded, "We're over here." Trump then replied, pointing in their advice, "You don't look gay." The comment drew boisterous laughter from the audience.
As the laughter died down, Trump said, "We did great with the queer population, as you know."
Peter Boykin, the founder of the Gays for Trump organization, told Newsweek in a Thursday email those who associate with his
But you don’t glance gay: The plight of the queer femme
“Is this your first time here?” she asked, leaning in closer than she needs to and shouting to be heard over the pounding beat of the country music at the local lesbian bar.
“First time? Here?” I looked at her quickly, taking an assessment of the limited hair and boyish body and barely contained swagger. She was young, homosexual and fiercely alive. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been coming here since before you were legal.”
“Oh. Sorry. I just assumed you were somebody’s straight friend.”
And so it goes, and so it has gone, over and over again in the 12 years since I came barreling out of the closet. I was 31 when I finally made harmony with myself, shedding my straight, stay-at-home suburban mom identity in a savage rush. In the awaken of that painful transition, I was blessed to find myself deeply at home. Welcomed into a community that immediately acknowledged me as one of their own.
Sort of. Mostly. At least when they recognized me.
I am intensely feminine. I always possess been and likely always will be. Before coming out, I didn’t realize the vast and complex language of queerness. The d
“But you don’t look gay”—Queer fashion and nightlife
With lockdown entering its twelfth week and every Netflix performance on my list binged to completion, I did something that I vowed I would never do; I downloaded TikTok.
It took a total of twelve hours before I was hooked, and in my mindless scrolling stupor, one trend in particular stood out to me: “#ifiwasstraight.” A typical video under this tag is as follows: a queer person, dressed in their usual style, cosplays as their heterosexual alter-ego. They shed their gay exterior, removing piercings, scrubbing off layers of bold makeup and ditching their thrifted wardrobe as a voiceover says: “This is what I think I would peer like if I was straight.” The final gaze is conservative, generic, and stripped of character. With over 4.7 million views, the trend is wildly popular. But as much as I enjoy watching the LGBTQ+ community poke fun at the blandness of heterosexual fashion trends, it does beg the question: What does straight look like? What does gay look like? And should we be enforcing aesthetic binaries based on sexuality?
Presenting one’s social culture through clothing is nothing new. There are many styles that can imme
.