What does side mean in the gay community
If you’ve been on matchmaking app or hook-up apps favor Grindr or Scruff for more than a minute, then you might possess come across some cryptic language, coded and abbreviated to make the most of communicating sexual preferences. Because we all affectionate efficiency when it comes to flirting and sex, right?
But to understand some of these gay hieroglyphics, you may need a little help deciphering them. So, we’ve put together a list of some frequently used phrases, acronyms, and other words you might encounter on the apps.
What are you into?
Asking what a person is into, or ‘into?’ is often the first thing sent between people when negotiating sex on a hookup app. This could include any sexual positions or sexual acts you prefer and other kinks that might interest you. When people ask this question, they might propose their own “intos”, including some of the language below!
Sex positions
Assume the position! Ahem, we mean, what’s your sexual position? Some people can find language like this limiting, as there is usually a great deal more to sex and hooking up than deciding who is going to be giving and who’s receiving during anal sex or neither. However, it’s almost always in use – so it’s good t
Gaymenare constantly referring to and defining themselves as "tops" or "bottoms." When they consider dating or simply hooking up, gay men typically ask the other guy whether he's a top, a bottom or "versatile." It's important to find this out as soon as possible, because if you are planning to date or earn into a relationship, it's vitally important that you and he be sexually compatible with each other.
The whole issue of tops and bottoms came up recently with the release of a fresh study that looked at whether or not people can determine whether a gay man is a top or a bottom just by looking at facial cues. The review revealed that judgments made about whether an individual is a top or a bottom are based on perceived masculine and feminine traits.
There's so much talk and discussion about who gives and who receives. I've had straight people tell me that they assumed that most gay guys simply take turns. Yes, some do, but most don't. But what if a guy isn't a superior, a bottom or even versatile? What about male lover men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever?
I think they warrant a name of their own. I call them "sides."
Defining a Side
Sides choose to k
I’m gay and I’m not a top or a bottom – I’m a ‘side’
As a homosexual man, prying strangers and potential hook-ups alike possess asked me one doubt more times than I’ve had hot dinners.
‘Top or bottom?’
Words get me out of bed in the morning, and when uttered by the right people at the right moment, they’ve also been acknowledged to get me into bed.
But neither of these – superior or bottom – accurately describe what I like to get up to in the boudoir, so my response has always been a guarded mix of shrug and mumble.
Here’s the tea: I’m actually a ‘side’, a phrase coined by American psychotherapist and sexologist Joe Kort to describe those, appreciate me, for whom penetrative sex – in either position – does very little.
Getting the peach involved is, quite literally, a pain in the ass, but as for the aubergine, let’s just say that hands and mouths always know the assignment way better.
To continue the food metaphor: if man-on-man action were a dinner party, I’d have zero interest in sitting down to a bland meal when the amuse-bouches are so good.
I confess that I indulged in a lot of sex in my 20s – penetrative sex.
It oddly took yo
What Does “Top” Mean?
In the context of gay relationships and sexual dynamics, terms such as “top”, “bottom”, “verse” and “side” are often used to outline a person’s sexual preferences and roles. It is important to knowing these terms not only for members of the Queer community, but also for increasing understanding and acceptance of queer relationships in society.
What Does “Top” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsCommunication and ConsentWhat Does “Bottom” Mean?Physical AspectsEmotional and Psychological AspectsThe Stigma Around Organism a BottomWhat Does “Verse” Mean?Accepting DiversityCommunication and CompatibilityWhat Does “Side” Mean?Non-Penetrative IntimacyOpposing NormsAccepting One’s IdentityRoles and MythsHealth and Safety During Gay Sex
As a dictate, in gay sexual relationships, the “top” is the partner who has a penetrative role during anal sex. However, the notion of top includes much more than just physical actions: it includes a whole set of attitudes, preferences, and sometimes sentimental roles.
Physical Aspects
In physical terms, the top in a gay sexual relationship is the partner performing the penetration. This may contain the use
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